The Issue of Lust: my testimony of salvation through Christ
The issue of lust being labeled as a male issue is usually something hard for me to swallow at times. I even wonder what is wrong with me then, a person who has struggled with compulsive masturbation for years which then led to a short period in my life where I viewed pornographic images. I think in the past, i kept this a secret, and did not seek help because partly I felt like it was weird for a young woman to have such a struggle.
BUT GOD…
placed people in my life that had helped me deal with it, and that was the beginning of freedom. He worked on me, and I am thankful for these prayerful persons and for those young women that had shared their similar struggle with me. I really saw how God is able.
My mind, or filthy mind how many times have the images been replayed over and over. I hate riding in maxi taxis. Their music choices is not helpful for me and everyone else in the vehicle.
When I had realized that this was sin, and this was becoming a serious problem for me, I had to do a major cutting off of many things I called entertainment; tv shows, music, movies. Parental control is now up on Deviant Art where I upload artwork. I had to block quite a few facebook aps from showing up in my feed in the past because of its content. All this just to protect myself from not seeing what I should not.
Even with all that though… I am living in this flesh, and this flesh still wants control. And there were times I fell, and fell for weeks. Eventually I learned that, even though I may fall, I need to get up quickly and repent… The enemy would love for me to remain there and get stuck in the habit and miss my eternity with God. So, I have been getting up quickly and maintaining to stay up. THis is not a statement made in pride. As if I can boast! No way. Only GOd can help me stay there, because if He left me to my own devices…hmmm the place I may have been… Now, I am really trying to submit this body to the authority of Jesus Christ to serve Jesus Christ. When the horrible burning of lust comes up to consume me, I seek the Lord and seek that His desires and Holy Spirit burn even greater. Praying without ceasing in such times is what helps. The flesh and the Spirit really is always at war. I could not surrender but make war against the flesh.
I cant even glory in my salvation yes. You read about my struggle. You probably experienced the struggle. I thank God for His patience with me. I am thankful that He saw the person that I could have been and suffered this long, this long and kept pulling me and ministring and broke me to repentance.
I think part of me is concerned about how many people may look at me funny after sharing this, but a greater part of me is comforted to know that someone will learn that they have power over all maner of sin through Jesus Christ.
23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;24 Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus: 25 Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God; 26 To declare, I say, at this time his righteousness: that he might be just, and the justifier of him which believeth in Jesus. 27 Where is boasting then? It is excluded. By what law? of works? Nay: but by the law of faith. 28 Therefore we conclude that a man is justified by faith without the deeds of the law.
Romans 3:23-28
